Amnesia
by readbetweenthesigns
Summary: Based on the song from 5 Seconds Of Summer, this is an alternative to Puck's song choice in Episode 100. Rated T for language. One Shot.


**Disclaimer: Ownership is neither claimed nor implied, the author does not make any profit from this work of fiction.**

**A/N: I wish that I could wake up with amnesia...**

"Hey, Puck," Quinn said with a smile when they met in the hallway, she could see that he felt slightly uncomfortable, slightly nervous, just as she did, it wasn't really surprising, they hadn't seen each other in a while. As usual, when he was feeling put on the spot, Puck covered it with humour. They both did.

"So have you noticed how hot I look in my uniform?" Puck asked with a slightly mischievous smirk. Someone listening in might have thought he was asking her that question seriously, but Quinn knew better, she knew _him _better. Better than anyone else.

"It does look a little bit itchy," Quinn replied, using every ounce of her acting ability to keep the smile from her face and out of her eyes.

Puck was fooled. "Are you serious?" he asked, a touch perturbed, he was worried about that, maybe he had lost his edge after all. No, really, the girls still wanted him, he was the one they all flocked to whenever he and his buddies went off base to enjoy some much needed down time. Puck hoped, really hoped that he and Quinn could reconnect, maybe reignite their relationship, take it to the level that it should have been by now, would have been if they both hadn't been so stubborn.

"I'm just kidding," Quinn admitted and grinned at him. "You look really handsome," she told Puck, and marveled when he grew in stature before her very eyes as he listened and accepted her compliments. Quinn felt a long forgotten tingle start way, way down in her stomach, a sensation that she hadn't felt in a long, long time.

Puck listened to and answered Quinn's question, he wasn't exactly sure how he had managed to do that without performing backflips, because hey, just from her eyes and her words, Puck knew that she was seriously into him again. "And bam, just like that we are Quick," he congratulated himself silently. He was seriously caught off guard by what happened next.

Quinn squealed. Not a frightened or pissed of sort of a squeal, more like the giggly, 'do it again' type of squeal that she used to do if he touched her just so on the waist when they were all loved up in his bed. Or her bed. Or his truck. Or the hotel room that Rachel had booked and paid for on prom night and never used. Well, Rachel and Finn didn't use it, but Puck and Quinn sure did. Or any of the other random places that they had found and made out in. Actually, many, many random places. Puck knew exactly what she was going to say to the dweeb beside her, the guy who had dared to put his hands on Quinn Fabray. "That's my tickle spot," she laughingly told the guy in the suit, they both giggled as they gave each other a peck on the lips. Puck felt a tug of something in his chest, indigestion maybe? Heartburn? Jealousy?

"Who's this?" Puck asked, trying his absolute damnedest to sound as though he hadn't just had the wind knocked out of him, hadn't just had the rug pulled from under his feet.

Quinn glanced up into Puck's eyes and saw exactly what she hoped would not be there. Hurt. "Damn," she thought to herself then forced herself to answer the question, perform the introduction. "Puck, this is my boyfriend, Biff Mackintosh," she announced and hoped that Biff wouldn't see the vulnerability that she could see in Puck because she knew he would exploit it, go straight in for the kill, he was ruthless like that. From a distance, Quinn heard a sort of side conversation between Puck and Biff, it sounded ridiculous, and then she heard that question, the one she had dreaded, the one she could quite honestly answer with "no, I never told anyone about you, you were too precious to me to share with anyone,". Quinn took a breath and then the bull by the horns, she knew this was going to sting. "This is my very old, dear, dear, friend, Noah Puckerman," she explained to Biff and silently congratulated herself that she had managed to say all that without breaking down and crying that he was really and truly the love of her life and if he'd have shown any signs of growing up into a responsible adult when they were together, well, they probably would still have been together. Maybe even officially by now. But he hadn't, he'd just been a jerk for most of the time...yet she still loved him.

* * *

"Mr Schue?" Puck said quietly once everyone else had left the choir room after the brief welcome speech. "I know that you said we should revisit and reinvent songs we've sung in the past, but there's a new song that is perfect for what I want to say to Quinn," he sighed and slumped back down onto the stool beside the piano.

"I noticed that she seems really into the guy she brought with her," Mr Schue commiserated and patted Puck on his shoulder, a show of strength, man to man. Will Schuester remembered bitterly the time that Emma brought that dentist asshole with her, he remembered feeling like he had to compete. Mr Schue would be willing to bet that Puck sort of felt like that right now.

"He bores the pants off her," Puck claimed and pouted childishly, "he's not right for her, he won't keep her interested, keep her excited," he grumbled and glanced up at Mr Schue, saw the look on his face. "Ok, so maybe I'm not over her, maybe I never have been," he admitted and laughed at himself. "Really cool, huh?" he asked the teacher, mocking himself and his life.

Mr Schue grinned and patted Puck's shoulder again. "What do you want to sing?" he asked Puck and nodded approvingly when Puck explained his choice.

* * *

Everyone followed Puck to the auditorium, after Santana's intervention that had interrupted Puck's initial request for everyone to gather there. Puck carefully seated everyone and then took his own place, he'd had Quinn and Biff sit just slightly off-centre from him, so that he would be able to see Quinn's face, so that they would know, especially Biff - if he realised it - that Puck was singing to Quinn. He was fairly certain that everyone else would pick up on it straight away. The band began to play, Puck shuffled slightly on his stool.

"I drove by all the places  
We used to hang out getting wasted  
I thought about our last kiss  
How it felt, the way you tasted

And even though your friends tell me  
You're doing fine  
Are you somewhere feeling lonely  
Even though he's right beside you?

When he says those words that hurt you  
Do you read the ones I wrote you?

Sometimes I start to wonder  
Was it just a lie?  
If what we had was real  
How could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving  
I remember the makeup running down your face  
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them  
Like every single wish we ever made

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia  
And forget about the stupid little things  
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you  
And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all

The pictures that you sent me  
They're still living in my phone  
I'll admit I'd like to see them  
I'll admit I feel alone

All my friends keep asking why I'm not around  
It hurts to know you're happy  
Yeah it hurts that you've moved on

It's hard to hear your name  
When I haven't seen you in so long  
It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?  
If what we had was real how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving  
I remember the makeup running down your face  
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them  
Like every single wish we ever made

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia  
And forget about the stupid little things  
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you  
And the memories I never can escape

If today I woke up with you right beside me  
Like all of this was just some twisted dream

I'd hold you closer than I ever did before

And you'd never slip away  
And you'd never hear me say

I remember the day you told me you were leaving  
I remember the makeup running down your face  
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them  
Like every single wish we ever made

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia  
And forget about the stupid little things  
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you  
And the memories I never can escape

Cause I'm not fine at all, no I'm really not fine at all  
Tell me this is just a dream, cause I'm really not fine at all"

For a second or two, the auditorium was in complete silence, as though no one wanted to break the tension that was almost visible between Quinn's eyes and Puck's. Their stares were locked together. Quinn was totally aware of Biff at her side, she was completely aware of all of her friends and former class mates, who faced each other in two rows, they seemed to frame her, Puck and of course Biff. She was totally aware that Biff was shifting uncomfortably and she knew that both she and Puck were frozen, like statues and she knew that she couldn't tear her slightly tearful gaze away from his suspiciously glistening eyes. Then the applause began, Puck acknowledged the claps without allowing his eyes to stray from Quinn's.

"Well, that was rather uncomfortable," Biff muttered as he stood up and adjusted the fit of his jacket in an unconscious move. "I'll be waiting outside," he advised Quinn and strode away.

"Why?" Quinn asked as everyone else melted away to give them some privacy. "Why now?" she hissed just before the tears fell. "Is it because you can't handle seeing me with someone else?" she demanded crossly.

"You know you don't belong with anyone else," Puck retorted swiftly. "He'll never know you like I do, he'll never love you like I do," he warned. "I mean, what does he think of Beth?" he asked. "Does he even know about her?" Puck sneered when he saw the look on Quinn's face. "I hate how you can do that," he sighed, saddened once again by Quinn, "I hate how you can write our daughter out of your life whenever you want. I can't, I carry it all with me, all of my past, all of _our _past," he reiterated, emphasising the 'our' part. "Quinn, I love you, I always will," Puck said, stepping up close to her and taking her hands, "you're my soul mate," he said with a shrug, he wasn't really sure how to explain himself. "When we're together, everything is right, everything is just how it should be, but when we're apart, I end up hating you because you hide everything that is special about you, you hide it from the world. It's like you just keep it for me to see, but the whole world needs to know who you are, who you really are, not the tiny bit of nothing that you choose to share," he urged, almost pleading with her to understand.

"You're right," Quinn whispered as Puck's hands gripped both of hers tightly between them. "I think I should go and talk to Biff," she sniffed, "maybe explain a few things to him," she managed to say just before her voice broke.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Puck offered, he immediately wanted to protect her, from hurt, from harm, from a boyfriend who might turn nasty.

"No, no, I'll be fine," Quinn assured Puck and headed back stage to leave the auditorium the same way that Biff had.

* * *

"So, sweet little Snow White isn't so white after all," Biff sneered when Quinn found him in the illicit smoking area.

"Biff, we need to talk," Quinn sighed.

"Really?" Biff mocked and took another long drag on the suspicious looking hand rolled cigarette. "And what do we need to talk about?" he asked, holding his breath and the smoke in his lungs despite talking. "The fact that you have a tattoo or the fact that you have a child that you didn't tell me about? It's very interesting what people want to talk about out here," he informed Quinn pleasantly. "So are you going to tell me that your former boyfriend, and presumably the baby daddy, is still in love with you? Or that you're a dirty little slutbag? Or that you're finally going to give it up to me tonight because it seems like everyone else round here's had you, I might as well take my turn, I paid enough for the privilege," he hissed nastily then crowded Quinn right up to the side of the school bus. "You're a whore," he accused, his face, his tone, his manner were angry, menacing "And when I'm done with you, you can leave me the hell alone," he growled.

"And you can go fuck yourself right now," Puck growled back in defense of Quinn. "Quinn, get out of here," he ordered, "this isn't going to be pretty," he added under his breath and slammed Biff into the side of the bus.

"Baby daddy to the rescue," Biff sneered and shoved back.

"That's right, I _am_ the daddy," Puck replied, giving the phrase two meanings, one, that he indeed was the father of Quinn's baby and the other, that he was the undisputed boss of the unofficial fight club at McKinley High. Puck gave Biff another good punch and slammed him into the bus again.

"Puck, leave him alone, you're hurting him," Quinn cried.

"Kinda the point," Puck answered, although he was slightly distracted by a punch in the mouth, a return shot from Biff. Puck went to town and used all the tricks and moves he'd ever learned on and off the field at McKinley, the moves he'd learned at his fight club and the moves he'd learned since joining the air force. Biff, a slightly wasted Biff, was no match for Puck's superior moves and power. "Gah," he grunted as he tossed Biff into the dumpster. "Now, you can crawl in there with him if you want," he advised Quinn breathlessly, "or you can come and be with your real friends in the choir room, the ones that don't judge you, the ones who love you for who you are," he reminded her. "I'll be waiting."

* * *

Puck didn't know whether to be pissed or not when Quinn didn't show up in the choir room that afternoon. "Fucking super rich, super Biff won out after all," he told himself despondently. Puck couldn't face the final hour of the day, closeted up with his old glee friends, he needed a bit of space so he headed off to the locker room and found peace in the sight of Finn's football jersey, hanging there for all to see. Puck stood before it and contemplated everything, life, love, career. Silently he told Finn all about it, all about everything, even about the time that he had slept with Rachel in New York when she was at her lowest ebb after the funeral. "I'm sorry dude, I mean, she begged me to and you know what a crying girl does to me, I can't refuse them anything, I'm sorry," he sighed and stared intently at the number on the back of the shirt. The glass reflected the scene behind him, acted like a mirror as he watched the blonde walk up to him. "He forgave us for what we did, right?" he asked when Quinn drew to a stop beside him. "If only you knew it all," he added inside his head, although he and Rachel had vowed that they would never speak of the incident again. Ever. Puck sincerely hoped it would remain that way.

Quinn paused for a second as a flood of memories came rushing back. "A long time ago," she assured Puck with a nod. "We saved him," she announced with a smile, "Rachel was his soul mate," she said and she truly meant it.

Puck nodded and gulped a little. "Who's yours? Biff?" he asked, his curiosity piqued a little, he'd already told her that she was his soul mate, he wondered if she even remembered their earlier conversation.

Quinn heaved a relieved sigh. "He's going back to Yale, alone," she told Puck and felt a lightness surround her when she said it, she didn't even try to stop the smile that touched her lips.

Puck waited for Quinn to say something else, she didn't. "Yeah, I think I'm going to blow this place too," he sighed and deliberately kept his eyes on the shirt, "unless there's a reason for me to stay," he added coyly, hopefully, but he still didn't look at Quinn, Puck thought it might kill him if she couldn't look at him with the love in her eyes that she used to have. Puck took a breath, he knew he had to say it. "Because I know who my soul mate is," he announced quite casually and then waited. And waited. And waited.

Quinn didn't quite know how to answer. Puck had told her earlier that she was his soul mate and if she was being entirely honest, she would tell him straight away that he was hers, that he'd always been hers and she'd never, ever wanted it to be anyone else. But still she paused. Quinn heard a movement, as though Puck was about to leave. "You wouldn't want me," she said quickly, "I'm terrible at having a relationship that involves any level of honesty," she admitted, disgusted with herself when she realised that it was the truth that she spoke.

Puck turned to face Quinn. "I love you," he told her and he did, so, so much. "Just tell me to stay," he advised, begged, "because the truth is, there's only one guy you were ever really honest with," he reminded her. "Just tell me to stay," he requested, "please."

Quinn couldn't speak, she couldn't make a sound and it wasn't because she didn't want to, she did, she really, really did. Quinn wanted, with her whole heart, to shout at Puck to stay right where he was, she wanted to launch herself at him, she wanted to wrap herself around him and absorb every molecule of him. Quinn wanted to scream to the world that she loved this man. But she couldn't. Her voice stuck in her throat, she couldn't choke past the blockage. Should she tell Puck now, that the only other person that she had ever had sex with was Finn? Should she ever admit it to Rachel? Should she tell Puck that just before Finn had enrolled in college he'd come to New Haven to see her, see if she could talk some sense into him and they'd ended up in bed together? And it was then that she'd realised that the only person she wanted to share her body with was Puck. Of course she'd lied about having relationships, especially to Santana who would have jumped on the fact that she hadn't been with anyone and would have linked it straight away to her missing Puck. Quinn realised that Puck had left the locker room. "Crap," she hissed. "Where did he go?" she asked herself and fled. Quinn looked left and right down the corridor and spotted the back of the man she loved walking away from her, striding out of her life. She couldn't allow that to happen. Quinn raced after Puck, dodging students when they got in her way, oh for the days when the students would part like the red sea and allow her to pass freely through their ranks. Just when she thought that Puck would get to the exit first, she caught him with a hand on his shoulder.

Puck turned sharply. Even through the coarse fabric of his uniform he'd know that touch anywhere, his entire left side tingled, and that was from a mere touch. Still, Quinn didn't say a word, but this time, she didn't need to, her liplock spoke for her. Puck replied with a thrust of his tongue into her mouth, he didn't speak either. When their lips parted with a satisfying smack, Quinn smiled confidently into Puck's eyes. "Stay," she whispered huskily. Again Puck didn't reply, he did the only thing he could for that second, given that they were in the middle of a crowded hallway, in a school full of impressionable teenagers. Instead of stripping their clothes off and loving each other senseless, as he wished they could, Puck lifted Quinn from her feet and spun around with her. It wasn't anywhere near as satisfying, but for that moment it had to suffice.

"You chose me," Puck whispered into her hair, he couldn't believe that she had after all those years, she'd always chosen someone else over him, always.

"There's only ever been you," Quinn told Puck now, and he really didn't need to know anything else. "There's never been anyone else for me, _you're _the one, you're _my_ soul mate," she mumbled, "and I love you."


End file.
